Posted in Personal

Being An Author With Depression

 

THIS BLOG POST MAY NOT BE ACCEPTABLE FOR CHILDREN TO READ.

I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression by a doctor. I have told several people that I struggle with depression and I’ve gotten mixed responses. Some have told me they feel for me or have depression as well, while others have told me they don’t believe depression is a real issue and that I “just need to be happy.” 

One thing I know that I, and other people with depression HATE is being told to just be happy. The same way some people can’t approach a person they think is attractive, the way some people aren’t good with money, or the way some people just seem to have tons of confidence it’s just the way they are. Depression is a legitimate condition that I suffer from.

I have nights where I feel extremely confident, like I can change the world. A few days later I’ll feel like I’m the worst person in the world, like nothing I do is good enough and I don’t even know why I’m here. I have suffered from the worst thoughts someone with depression can have. No it isn’t like a cold that you deal with for a day or two and it’s gone until next year. I have weeks where I don’t deal with it or, like the last two weeks, I deal with it every day or every other day. Sometimes I just feel defeated and sometimes I feel like my life is a joke and I shouldn’t be here. 

I lost a friend who was seeking help from depression and it wasn’t enough, and I feel like sometimes it’s better to let someone know. I know it’s hard to do, but it’s helped me grow and deal with it. I am very quiet about my depression because I don’t want sympathy or people judging me based on it. I have good and bad days like anyone, it’s just that my bad days are extremely bad days.  

So before you judge me just remember that I judge myself harder than you or anyone else ever could. This is where I find the strength to push myself to try and be a great children’s book author. Try to put my passion and pain from everything I’ve been through into my books to help children who may be going through tough situations themselves. Giving back, donating, helping children, it all helps me deal with my depression.

Posted in Personal, Unrelated

Goofy/Random Fact #2

A couple weeks ago now, I found out I have gained an allergy to wasp stings. I’ve been stung six times total by wasps, bees, and hornets.

When I was stung, it hurt  more than any other stings and lasted for four days. It did finally go away, but I was checked and told I now have a mild allergy. No fun!

Posted in Personal, Unrelated

Goofy/Random Fact #1

So I’ve been told more and more that I’m a goofy, weird guy and it doesn’t come across when I’m talking about books and sometimes in my books. Not sure where that came from but I thought I’d blog goofy facts about myself here and there to try and let my goofy-ness show (yes I add “ness” to the end of any word I want).

Today’s Goofy Fact is that I talk to everything. I get that might not sound weird, but my co-worker at my day job makes fun of me everyday for it. I’ve talked to frogs, dogs, squirrels, dragonflies, dragonfly larvae, leeches (explicit material), worms, and waterstriders (little bugs that float on top of ponds). I have also gone out of my way to save dragonfly larvae and other things. I got told to stop when i put an injured dragonfly on a rock and poured water next to him in case he got thirsty.

I’ve been told by everyone that I am a 5-year-old stuck in a 30-year-old body. I mean I would drop thousands of dollars on Legos if I could. Who wouldn’t?

There you go, Goofy Fact #1! Thanks for reading all of you goofy people!